View Full Version : Mer-Re Christmas - Kancolle Christmas story

12-30-2014, 10:13 PM
Since the rollback ate this short story I did for @laser (http://www.himeuta.net/members/laser/) I thought I should repost it before Christmas is but a distant memory.

Anyways, for those who haven't read it it's a story about Re-class getting it in her head that she should give Christmas presents to the ship girls. For some reason it doesn't go very well, but fortunately Hoppou-chan has an idea! Hijinks ensue.

Mer-Re Christmas

Mer-Re Christmas
An increasingly overcast sky obfuscated the waning red glare of sunset over the calm sea. Four ship girls cruised across the shimmering surface, beset on all sides by wisps of fog emboldened by the cool air.
"Command? This is Akatsuki, 6th Destroyer Division, reporting in!" the leading girl squeaked confidently. "Looks clear out here, but it's getting pre-etty foggy. I can barely see a thing up ahead." Listening intently to the reply on her comm, Akatsuki's face turned pouty: "What do you mean 'take care you don't catch a cold??' Do you think I'm a baby??"
"Hey, Akatsuki nee-san," coming up behind her, Hibiki put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "I think we should return soon. I have a bad feeling about this."
"Huh? I guess you're right. We can't see anything without radar anyway. Besides, this is no weather for a lady."
"If the fog gets any thicker..." Ikazuchi piped up.
"...we'll just crash into each other," Inazuma finished.
Akatsuki made a face, not happy with having to return before completing the patrol, but still called back to base: "This is Akatsuki, we're coming home. Uh, y-yes you may have the herb tea ready for when I come back..."
"Can I have some jam with that?" Hibiki cut in, but found herself ignored. Instead she was distracted by a tap on her shoulder.
"Uhh... nee-san?" Inazuma said, her voice anxious. Hibiki turned around to follow her sister's pointing finger. Pointing into the fog as well, Ikazuchi added: "What's that?"
Blurred by the thick fog, a vague silhouette came gliding towards them from the side. It looked somewhat humanoid, but it was hard to tell. Out of the darkness and fog came the faint glow of two purple lights, as if it were a pair of eyes.
"Ho, ho, ho, ho!" The booming laughter from the murk sounded as if it was usually high-pitched, but made to sound deeper on purpose, giving it a sinister feel. Out of the gloom came a dark shape; a sharp-toothed grin set under a pair of glowing eyes. "Come get some-" the girl-like creature said, keeping up its artificially sonorous voice.
"Aaaah!" Ikazuchi and Inazuma screamed in tandem. "Re-class battleship dead ahead!"
"Fall back!" Hibiki said with as much calm as she could muster. No-one offered any argument and the division retreated at full speed.
"-presents!" the aviation battleship finished, but the destroyers were already way out of sight. Her grinning face turned puzzled as she took her hands away from her backpack, her monstrous tail drooping noticably.

* * *

"Well, well. Who have we here?" the aircraft carrier oni chortled. Lounging on her weapons platform she popped another Christmas chocolate into her mouth and languidly observed her fellow Abyssal approach. "Long time no see, Re-chan."
"Kuubo-sama," the aviation battleship nodded curtly.
"Oh my," the carrier exclaimed, putting a hand to her mouth in mock outrage. "Why the long face? Did someone pull your tail?"
Putting her hands on her hips and puffing up her bared chest, Re made an annoyed face: "I'm trying to give Christmas presents to the ship girls, but they don't seem to want any! How rude!"
Kuubo gave her an amused look and put down the chocolate piece in her hand. Before she could comment, however, a small shape jumped up from behind her weapons platform:
"Why would want to give presents to those poopy-heads??" Hoppou-chan yelled angrily, throwing her bemittened hands in the air. "They've been after my presents for weeks!"
"Now, now," Kuubo said with a smirk. "Those presents aren't all for you."
Balancing on the weapons platform, Hoppou-chan struck a determined pose. "They are too! Anyone who says otherwise can get lost!"
"Hoppou-chan does have a point, though. What are you playing at, you little scamp?" Kuubo said with mild interest. Nevertheless, she returned her attention to her box of chocolates.
"It's what you're supposed to do for Christmas!" Re declared confidently. "Didn't you see that movie? When those people stopped fighting and gave each other presents. That's Christmas."
Kuubo raised an eyebrow: "So you're basing your whole idea of this holiday on a single film?" She found herself completely ignored.
"The ship girls don't want to accept my presents or kick around a can like in the movie, though! They just leave!"
"Are you surprised?" the carrier oni chuckled. "You don't exactly look like a... what's it called... 'Santa Claus'."
"Yeah!" Hoppou-chan agreed vehemently. Pulling her Christmas hat off her head she shook it in Re's face. "You don't even have proper headgear!" Suddenly her face brightened with realization: "Wait a minute..."
A sly grin spread on the northern princess' face: "If you give those meanies presents, they won't go after mine... What you need is a proper disguise!"
"A ruse to get close to the enemy? How clever!" Kuubo chuckled.
"Here! You can borrow my hat!" Jumping off the weapons platform, Hoppou-chan planted her fuzzy-trimmed hat on top of Re's head. "Now we just need to find you a coat..."
"B-but..." The aviation battleship blushed and tugged at her tail.
"Ohohoho, don't worry!" Kuubo laughed. "I have the perfect solution for that!"

* * *

"Aren't you going to come inside?" Atago wondered as she approached Nagato on the balcony. Twilight had fallen and brought with it a winter chill, but the battleship had remained on station. "The Christmas party is going to start any minute now."
"The 6th Destroyer Division encountered an enemy battleship before they could complete their patrol," Nagato replied resolutely. "We don't know the fleet's composition or heading; they could strike at any minute."
Giggling in an attempt to lighten the mood, Atago dismissed her concerns: "Now, now. That was yesterday; I'm sure if they wanted to attack us they'd have done it by now."
"Mm," Nagato said non-committally and returned her attention to her radar.
Realizing she wasn't getting anywhere, Atago sighed: "Alright. Let me bring you some hot chocolate and a coat at least." She was just about to leave when she was stopped by a loud "Aha!"
"Single target approaching, confirming visual contact!" Nagato said to herself and raised her binoculars. "One ship, employing dazzle camo," she determined.
"Huh?" Rushing over to the battleship, Atago picked up a pair of binoculars of her own. "You know, I don't think that's camouflage..."

Assembled in the festive mess hall, the ship girls were eager to catch a glimpse of the newcomer. Dressed all in black with fuzzy white trimming everywhere, Re's sharp-toothed grin was covered by a silky beard. Her tail had been tucked into her voluminous Santa coat, giving her a comically rotund appearance as she glided into the congregation.
"Wow, Akagi has dressed up as Santa for us!" Ryujou exclaimed, clasping her hands.
Looking a little bothered by the comment, the other carrier muttered: "I'm right here."
"Ho, ho, ho!" Santa Re laughed heartily. "Do you kids want some presents?"
"Me, me!"
"Hmph. That's the least I deserve."
"As a first-class lady, I accept."
"Really??" Re exclaimed, carelessly dropping her Santa voice for a moment. "Ah! I... I mean 'ho, ho, ho! Come get your presents!'"
The ship girls steamed forward, eagerly accepting their presents as Santa Re pulled them from her backpack.
"Oooh! I wonder what it is?"
"Yay! This is great!"
"What did you get?" Ikazuchi asked excitedly.
"I dunno yet..." Inazuma replied, tongue sticking out as she worked hard to get the wrapping off. "Let's see. Huh? What's this?"
"Is this... cigarettes?" Mochizuki said incredulously as she peered over her glasses and into the gift box she was holding.
"Mine's weird too..."
"Is this soda?"
"I got chocolate!" Ryujou announced happily.
"Mine's... a bottle of water?" Akatsuki said, looking a little puzzled. "It says 'gin' on it." Looking pleased she added: "Sounds high-class!"
Within two seconds, Junyou was over her shoulder: "Really? You wanna trade? I have a box of snuff."
Moving in to intercept the excited carrier, Nagato snatched the snuff from Junyou's outstretched hand, interrupting the exchange. Hands on her hips she confronted the mysterious gift-giver: "You can't give this stuff to the kids. What kind of Santa are you?"
"Huh? But that's the kind of stuff you give at Christmas." Recovering from the unexpected rebuke, Re pulled a beaten tin can from her backpack: "Now who wants to kick this can around!"
"What??" Nagato's stern face turned utterly baffled. Recovering, she peered suspiciously into Santa Re's eyes, obfuscated by her bushy beard. "Wait a minute..." the battleship muttered and without warning grabbed the disguised Abyssal's fake beard. Tugging at it revealed a row of razor-sharp teeth.
"Battlestations!" Nagato yelled at the confused ship girls. "Enemy battleship inside the base! Everyone fall back and arm themselves!"
Shocked as they were, everyone eventually gathered their wits enough to follow orders. Running and tripping and shoving, no-one noticed that the unmasked Abyssal was just standing in the middle of the commotion, looking incredibly confused.
Once they were armed and ready, everyone gathered outside the mess hall door.
"Careful!" Nagato warned them. "The enemy has a great range of weapons capabilities. Ready? Advance!"
Kicking in the door – with rather unnecessary force considering it was unbarred – Nagato threw herself through, 41 cm guns trained on the enemy's last known location.
"Gone?" the battleship whispered to herself and began scanning the room. As the others piled in they did the same and it didn't take long to confirm that the enemy was indeed nowhere to be seen.
"Spread out and search the base!" Nagato ordered.

Even after a thorough search, no-one could find the enemy battleship anywhere. Eventually they reasoned that, its ruse exposed, it must have fled. Nevertheless, everyone was a little extra on edge.
"Perfect," Nagato sneered to herself. Standing alone in the hallway, she sighed and shook her head: "This intrusion completely ruined Christmas celebration for the destroyers."
"Whatcha talkin' 'bout?" The sudden noise made Nagato jump. Turning around and bringing her weapons to bear, she saw Junyou sprawled in the stairwell. Holding up a bottle of whiskey and a nearly empty bottle of gin in one hand, she slurred happily: "That was the besht Chrishmash ever!"

12-30-2014, 10:26 PM
sutenai thanks for Re-upload

01-04-2015, 08:50 PM
nice story, I really enjoyed it. The Abyssal girls need more love, besides Hoppo2. :3

01-05-2015, 11:57 AM
Thanks! That's great to hear! I've never written about Kancolle before, so feedback is nice :haruna_shy:

DDX chan
01-05-2015, 12:04 PM
i read it a bit late
and way past christmas already
but a very nice story overall

01-05-2015, 12:41 PM
Iku chan kai
Just in time for Orthodox Christmas, you mean! :haruna_grin:
Most important thing is that you enjoyed it -- now I just need to get my other projects done so I can make more!

DDX chan
01-05-2015, 12:58 PM
@Iku chan kai (http://www.himeuta.net/members/iku-chan-kai/)
Just in time for Orthodox Christmas, you mean! :haruna_grin:
Most important thing is that you enjoyed it -- now I just need to get my other projects done so I can make more!

keep up the good work
looking forward to it