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  1. #1
    Shinmai Shosa (新米少佐)
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    0 Post(s)

    Battleship (2012)

    So I'm curious as to what people who enjoy Kancolle make of the 2012 Battleship movie.

    Me? Despite the critical pounding it got I found it really enjoyable to watch a film that was so desperately trying to outdo Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich for sheer quantity of schlock! I saw it at the cinema with friends and we had a really fun time taking the mick out of the more nonesenical moments, laughing at those bits that were genuinely funny, and just relishing the badassery (the fact that the role of the double-amputee war veteran was rewritten to accomodate the actor being an actual double-amputee war veteran raised the film's standing considerably for me).

    My favourite bits? An alien taking a cannon shot point-blank to the face, Hopper and Nagata climbing onto the transom of the sinking USS John Paul Jones (at which point me and my friends all whispered "Jack, this is where we first met!" aloud), and anything involving the Missouri, from the gloriously silly 'greatest generation' veterans muster, right down to the Thunderstruck sequence.

    "Sir, are we really firin' on Oahu?" - "Sure looks that way." - "Holee Shitt!"

    And of course, doing a handbrake-turn with a battleship!

    So yeah, I'm genuinely intrigued about what people around here made of it. Likewise, if anyone can tell me how it went down in Japan (where the premiere was held), I'd really be interested.

  2. #2
    Vice-Admiral M.A.Mitscher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    645 Post(s)

    Re: Battleship (2012)

    @TB3 I get that they were trying to make a naval version of "Independence Day." I get that people can enjoy this movie because it clearly got some very nice money to make it, as well as cooperation with the US Navy.

    But, my problem was that I knew too much about how the Navy worked being in the USMC and having spent time aboard and working on USN ships. Try as I might in just shutting off what my senses would tell me are wrong with the movie, I just couldn't stop it. For me, there were 2 parts of the movie that really jumped the shark:

    1. The Battleship Boardgame Scene. I get it. The movie is supposed to make a nod to the boardgame. I knew it was coming. Even bracing for that, I still didn't like it. Far fetched.

    2. Eclipsing that scene was them literally taking the USS Missouri immediately out from being a floating museum to an active warship. Common sense tells me the gov't isn't just going to hand a warship to be used as a museum stocked with fuel and ammunition. Not to mention supposedly having former servicemen that used to be on that ship literally just standing there as the main characters were wondering what they should do. This was beyond being far fetched.

    It's a pretty movie with lots of nice special effects. But the details just nagged me too much. Well, that and making Pine's character be like Capt Kirk 2009 (Edit: I could have sworn that was Chris Pine...).

    "Haze Grey & Underway"
    - World of Warships Profile ; Warships.Today -

  3. #3
    Tirpitz chan

    Re: Battleship (2012)

    Why the hell is nobody commenting on this?

    Well, here i go. I liked the movie personally..... now don´t get me wrong, 75% of it are crap. Pure, unadulterated crap. Hopper is a terrible commander, Nagata is barely a character at all, Liam Neeson´s talent is wasted (Seriously, was it too expensive to make HIM the captain of Missouri? HE´D fit the role!) and for most of the movie, we see destroyers fight aliens with VLS weapons and autocannons, and really dumbass people making things worse- such as Hopper touching the alien ship, activating it, them firing on it causing the aliens to turn hostile, et cetera.

    What do i like about it then? The star of the movie- USS Missouri. This was the last time she set sail, and although not under own power, she did turn her turrets and load props into them just like you see in the movie. Of course they fucked her up too by making her start up in a few minutes (It takes four hours to get the boilers to operating temprature, nevermind instructing everybody who isnt a vet on their jobs... oh, and that final shot they made.)
    Lets get to that actually. They carry a 16inch shell from Turret C to Turret B- a distance of about 70 meters, using five men. For one- how are they supposed to get the shell out of that very tightly enclosed space of the turret in the first place?
    Secondly- the magazines are blocked off from the rest of the ship, and are not connected to one another through a direct route. This is to prevent a catastropic chain fire in the event of a mazaine explosion.
    Thirdly, they state the movie weighs a thousand pounds. Thats not correct- it weighs over a thousand KILOS, or more than twice what they stated, which means they would never, ever be able to lift the shell with just five men and carry it all the way over there- because unlike a car such a shell is smooth and has no edges to hold onto, so lifting it- nice try, but no.

    Instead of awkwardly trying to lift a shell to move it to another turret, they could`ve simply used one of the Tomahawk cruise missiles installed next to the funnels. Sure, it wouldn´t have looked as macho if Rihanna simply programmed the missile to strike the sat dish, but it would be realistic.

    Another thing. Missouri´s vets fired machine guns at the enemy ship, .50BMG mounts- which at the distance they´re fighting would do very little. Let alone its pretty much a waste of time to try to punch a hole with
    them, when they could use the perfectly functional 5inch secondary turrets instead.

    Oh and lastly. You can´t operate a world war two battleship with just 100+ people. Every main turret is manned with more than fourty! There´s people needed in the plotting room, people needed on the bridge, people on the helm, on the rangefinders and sensory equipment, in the engine room... There´s a reason why WWII battleships had crews of over a thousand people.

    But all in all, i loved Mighty Mo´s fight scene. I wish they would`ve made the whole movie just about her. And how Liam Neeson commanded her to kick alien ass.

    - - - Updated - - -
    @M.A.Mitscher Actually i think they based this assumption of Missouri being stocked up and ready on it that she was in reserve until very recently, and was to be put back in service should the need arise- thus they kept her in combat ready shape and had spare parts ready to repair her if necessary. Not sure about the ordenance, but it´d make sense that they would have some. Probably not on the ship itself though- not where a snotty little kid can kick against one of the shells and set off a primer by accident.

    Not to mention by this point Missouri had one of her prop shafts removed so that she would be a museum, permenantly.

  4. #4
    Admiral Tex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    25 Post(s)

    Re: Battleship (2012)

    people have got into detail about the movie so all have to say is that the movie was fun and i enjoyed it. The Missouri battle scene was pretty great and and kinda made the movie for me

  5. #5
    Captain Akuser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    121 Post(s)

    Re: Battleship (2012)

    Nothing to say, sux as always, just like all the big money movies from USA: good special effects and bad story. You only Watch and Forget it after leave.

    Wishlist: Yamato • Mikuma
    I always hate you, Ta-class! Since 05/10/2014



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