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  1. #141
    Marshal Admiral Emerald Acid's Avatar
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    Another mini-chapter.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    ====================
    Hammer Fleet - Kongou
    ====================

    It seemed that the Abyssals never expected their little secret project to be found out beforehand, let alone have to deal with an enemy offensive. The first contact only consisted of two Ru-class Battleships and a pair of escorting Light Cruisers. Our opening salvo blew them out of the water as we advanced to our designated holding line. Even when we arrived at our position, the Abyssal's follow-up barely consisted of four separate waves of six ships each, consisting of various medium and light ships and a Battleship per; no enemy air power was found at all. This let the girls from Sword rain fire down on the Abyssals as they approached unopposed. This wouldn't last, of course. After a small reprise, the skies were dotted with the trademark tako balls that were the Abyssal fighters and bombers. Sword had retreated their bombers to rearm them, but had left their own fighters to stand guard and protect us. Unlike human planes of old, a shipgirl's planes never had to worry about things like fuel, since they were powered by the carrier herself. Human vehicles were so inefficient.

    Although while we would be protected from the enemy bombers for the most part, we'd have no bomb support of our own for a few waves, meaning we'd have to deal with this new task force ourselves. This time, there were ten ships, easily; three carriers, four battleships, and three escorts; two of which were those bloody Tsu-class. They would cause problems for our fighter protectors, so they were the first target.

    "Kirishima! Priority target minus fifty degrees from bow! Take out the AA cruiser! I'm ditto on the second at fifty! Tonecchi! Taco! Shoot down the carriers! Naks and Naga, torpedoes down the middle! Suppress the battleships!" I gave out the orders as we came under fire. "Shoot the last cruiser while your torpedoes are reloading! Everyone else, don't switch off your target 'till it's dead or BURNING~! Dodge fire as best you can."

    "It's Naka-chan! That nickname is so uncute for an idol!"

    She yelled back in protest at me, but she obeyed nonetheless. A wall of torpedoes swam through the ocean towards the battleships, and I could only hope that they would find their mark as I aimed and opened fire at the right-most Tsu-class. Unfortunately it noticed the incoming fire and dodged the shells. Kirishima likewise found hitting her target troublesome. What's more the enemy battleships were firing saturation fire instead of trying to focus a specific target, and that made maneuvering difficult. I dodged the fire but was knocked off balance a bit from a near miss' explosion. Kirishima took a glancing blow from one of the shells. We were starting to rack up damage from all the scratch hit we've taken since starting the hold, and this group was much more aware and organized than the previous. This wasn't going to be easy anymore.

    ====================
    Shield Fleet - Inazuma
    ====================

    "When's our next bombers support!? We're getting hit hard out here!"

    "Planes jest finished reloadin'! ETA in five! Jes' hang on ladies!"

    I heard the chatter from both Sword and Hammer as their respective battles went on. Hammer was in a bit of a tight spot according to the radio comms, and had been for awhile now. I hoped that their support would arrive before things got too bad. Over my shoulder, I could hear a shout. Apparently my worry was visible on my face.

    "Don't worry boss. When it comes to our carrier girls, they're really the bomb~!" Nenohi shouted over. I groaned and palmed my face at yet another terrible pun. For reasons I'll never understand, the girl loved them. Still, the exasperated sigh freed me from my worry, and for that I was thankful. Mildly.

    I could hear Naganami double over in laughter in response to the joke. That girl's sense of humor was so weird, I swear. She laughs any time she hears a bad pun or wordplay jokes. I could see Shimakaze across our defensive circle stifling her own laughter, but hers was a bit more reasonable since she always laughed at Naganami's disheveled guffawing.

    "Oi oi! Quit yer jibberin' and ship up, ya berks! Sonar's pickin' up contacts! West by Northwest 10 degrees! Let's get them gits!" Suzukaze belted out.

    Naganami snorted at that last phrase. Still, everyone snapped into focus as they checked their own sonar and saw that Suzukaze's assessment was indeed correct. Three of us broke off from the circle to engage the targets, while the other three remained to patrol in case this was a pincer attack.

    "Aaaaaaaall right! Time to get fired up!" Ooshio cheered as she, Nenohi, and I all made our way in the direction of the contacts until we were in range to charge them. There were five submarines, and they were aware of us and started to scatter. It was futile however, because submarines were notoriously slow, and we had a lot of charges to saturate the area. We encircled them before they could separate enough and caged them in with the explosives. Two of the submarines couldn't turn in time and took direct hits and were eliminated. Two others seemed to be crippled by the shockwaves and were surfacing. One of them was taken out by a follow-up charge from Ooshio as she loomed over the target as it tried to come up. The other successfully surfaced, but I cut it down quickly by throwing in two more charges. Both were direct hits, and the submarine was blown to pieces.

    "Woah! I thought lightning never struck twice!" Nenohi joked as she smiled.

    "Not now, where's the fifth one!?" I yelled back as I pinged my sonar again. The fifth submarine had avoided damage from the initial charges by being in the middle of the enemy formation and was now snailing away in retreat.

    "Get dunked on!" Nenohi exclaimed as she rushed over to above its location and jumped, slamming down a handful of charges with both hands as if she were playing basketball like a showboating human professional. "Showboating". Heh. The girl must be rubbing off on me. The charges made their way down and at least one of them found their mark as all of them exploded. The contact was gone from the sonar, and there were no additional pings.

    "All targets eliminated. Good work girls. Let's get back to position." I said as I started to lead everyone back.

    "~Hm-hmm~ That was too easy. Those fish were all washed up! It's gonna be smooth sailing for us!".

    ...And there it went. I facepalmed again. "Please don't tempt fate... I always feel like things could go badly just from a single roll of the galactic dice."


    Last edited by Emerald Acid; 12-15-2016 at 06:53 AM.
    I always pull my weight. I just happen to be made of helium.
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  2. #142
    Admiral Lord Harrab's Avatar
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    @Emerald Acid

    Ok, had to read back a bit to get accustomed to your writing style again, plus a few Kancolle related distractions but I've pulled my finger out and had a good read through of these mini-updates. Once more i will say that this is the following is purely my own opinion and is offered in interest of helping you write your fiction.



    First part with sword fleet, i was unsure who's point of view it was until i looked back again and saw that it was RJ, the part being too small for her personality to really show, and the use of first person further muddling the issue for me somewhat after reading straight on from the last part. I suppose as they are supporting the battle over where the main fleet there'd not be much to put anyway.

    Unless you wanted to expand on the idle chatter the other carrier's were having, again, the whole show and don't tell thing, maybe a few lines of them talking about whatever would put across their feeling of being secure and unworried, but i assume these updates are like this because they're just you keeping you hand in, as it were, so if you didn't feel up to it, that's fair enough.

    The other mini update, again, the use of first person in both parts was again confusing, and i had to look back a few parts to find out who'd you'd assigned where and were your admiral was, i suggest for points of view other than your own, you still convey the character's thoughts and feelings, but in a third person were you can refer to them by name naturally, that way when it goes back to first person, i can tell its your admiral again right off the bat.

    Spotted a bit of an inconstancy in the first paragraph of hammer fleet's part too, highlighted here for you.

    Sword had retreated their bombers to refuel, but had left their own fighters to stand guard and protect us. Unlike human planes of old, a shipgirl's planes never had to worry about things like fuel, since they were powered by the carrier herself. Human vehicles were so inefficient.
    I think you may have meant they had to rearm, as even if they don't need fuel, i assume ordinance is limited use, but i can't recall the logic behind how the planes work in your universe

    Moving on, i recall you saying you needed to use bad puns in a part you were writing a while back, and now i can see why, they were Nenohi's moment in the spotlight and i'm pleased to say she certainly didn't let the chance sail by.

    ....sorry.

    hopefully, if she gets some more time in the limelight, she won't again be reduced to just spouting puns, as that risks her become a bland character, but knowing you, if and when she does return, she'd still mange to work some in there somehow, that's just how she is.

    Again, the small size of the update seemed to work against you here, not to say that you need to belt out two million words a chapter every time or anything like that, but the battles and action felt rushed as a side effect. I feel you do better with action scenes in your larger parts. Although the attitude of these sub hunters was the highlight of this part, they are fired up and eager to fight, and that comes across perfectly. Fightin' Tin Cans!

    Well, that's all that comes to mind, hope it helps



    .



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  3. #143
    Marshal Admiral Emerald Acid's Avatar
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    @Lord Harrab In that case, I should probably put the flagship's name in the header with the fleet name as well. Each section is being told from their perspective, which is why this is taking so much longer than normal; writing for a bunch of different characters is trying.

    Also, thanks for catching that. I thought I had removed all of those mistakes with "reloading", but looks like I missed one.

    Nenohi is still gonna be the pungeon master of my universe. Hopefully she doesn't come out too dry, since while I want to give her more cool things to do, I do sort of have her as the "comedic character in serious situations" type, that spouts off jokes and the like at inappropriate times, while still being no less competent. I do have at least one really badass scene featuring her planned.

    Yeah, I don't much care for needing to use these small bits, but this chapter really kinda stalled out on me with a case of burnout. I've got a handful of climactic scenes in my mind, but connecting the dots to make the whole picture is somewhat difficult. I'd say I'm maybe halfway through this whole story arc so far.


    Last edited by Emerald Acid; 12-15-2016 at 06:33 AM.
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  4. #144
    Admiral Mr_Retro's Avatar
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    @Emerald Acid I like the idea of splitting the battle between different views, but just be careful not to lose sight of the whole picture. If you do, we definitely will, too. ;)
    The changes you made (putting the name of the flagship in the header and stuff) helped a lot, I think. I didn't have any issues understanding who was talking.

    One suggestion for keeping the action moving at a good pace and such might be to only switch to relevant viewpoints. Lord Harrab mentioned the old "show not tell" advice, and not switching to a group when nothing is going on might help. I kind of agree with his comments on the carrier section, it did feel a bit more expositional than the others. We can see the planes in other shots and such, so you might be able to reveal the situation of the carriers through the planes themselves being on time/late/etc or through that comm. chatter. I dunno, though.

    Overall, good work! I look forward to seeing where you take it.



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  5. #145
    Marshal Admiral Emerald Acid's Avatar
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    Whoops

    ====================
    Hammer Fleet - Kongou
    ====================

    "When's our next bombers support!? We're getting hit hard out here!"

    "Planes jest finished reloadin'! ETA in five! Jes' hang on ladies!"

    The promise of more air support was very welcome. The enemy count had increased in numbers, and we were starting to get pushed back.

    ...that message had come twenty minutes ago, and we were still suppressed down with no sign of aid. Every time we killed one, another one or two eventually entered the battle to take its place. It reminded me of that old human story about the half-god and the monster called a hydra; cut off one head, and two grow back.

    Where the hell is our bloody air support...! I thought to myself as I took aim at a freshly arrived Ta-class battleship.

    "Firing!" I shouted as I took my shots. They sailed through the air towards the target, but in my weariness, half the shots went wide. The other half struck for varying degrees of impact; most hit her limbs or rigging and caused a but of damage, while two in particular found her dead center and exploded. However, it wasn't enough to put her down right out. She still stood with tattered clothes and an angry look on her face. She pointed her guns in aim and fired... but not at me. I tracked her shell trajectories and saw that she had taken a full salvo at Kirishima, who had her attention pulled in a different direction; completely unaware of what was coming.

    "Kirishima! Incoming fire! MOVE!" I shouted out to her, but I knew it was a futile gesture. As a battleship there was no way she'd be able to be able to see the shells coming and make a movement in time. I watched in sadness as she turned around, only to catch the full volley directly. When the cloud of smoke cleared, she was down on one knee. Her clothes were in complete shreds and patches, and blood ran from her arms and legs. There was no question that she was anything other than heavily damaged.

    "Shit!" I cursed. "Cover Kirishima! Get her to the back!"

    No sooner had I said that when an explosion went up under the Ta-class's feet. A salvo of torpedoes had been launched much earlier; back when she first arrived I figured. The delayed warhead's explosion blew her bottom out for her and she sank to the depths. I looked over, and both Nak aand Nagara had already made their way over to Kirishima, and were escorting her away while peppering the enemy fleets with suppression fire on reload. Meanwhile, Tone and Furutaka were running every which way, launching torpedoes and blind fire to draw as much attention away as possible. Some of their shots found there marks; multiple destroyers and light cruisers fell under their constant fire, but it came at the cost of them taking hits in return as well. A blast clipped Furutaka's armored leg and almost knocked her off balance, but she managed to maintain.

    "Flagship!" Tone called out to me over the radio. "My scouts report no more contacts inbound at this time! We should give up some ground while we wait for our airstrike so we can-"

    An explosion cut her communication short as she went up in a cloud of smoke. A blast from a Ri-class heavy cruiser struck her square in the back, and she was knocked down flat on the sea's surface, barely able to sit herself up.

    "Tch... I cannot move. To think that I shall be ended like this...!" Tone spoke to herself. The Ri-class was closing the distance and taking aim on her again to deliver a finishing shot.

    No. Not on my watch. I raced over to her as quick as I could. There was only one chance at this, and the timing was tight. The distance was closing, but so was Tone's window. The Ri-class raised up its arm cannon and pointed it at her; white hot energy building up inside it.

    It fired... just as I sailed between it and Tone. I brought up the side of my rigging and used it as a shield against the Ri-class' attack. It took a hard hit as the metal was scorched from such a close ranged attack, but the enemy attack was unsuccessful. The momentum of my speed took me sailing past Tone as I turned to face the Ri-class with all guns to bear. I opened fire with everything; at this range I couldn't miss. The shots all connected with the Ri-class in a massive explosion, and the Abyssal simply ceased to be.

    She wasn't safe yet though. After I managed to come to a stop, I immediately turned back and went up to Tone. A small swarm of destroyers backed by a Ru-class battleship were all focusing in on her position like sharks that smelled blood (which there was a lot of). The destroyers were acting as live shields for the Ru-class as fire from Furutaka came in to try and protect her fellow Cruiser, but the battleship was able to keep moving in. I knelt down and pulled Tone in close, before closing in both sides of my rigging to form a front facing shield. It would never hold against concentrated fire, but I would not allow a casualty on my watch. I didn't know what it would accomplish; praying for something, anything, to come in and salvage the situation as I protected her with my body, but I was determined to hold fast no matter what.

    ...and then my prayers were answered. What started off as a low buzz in the distance eventually came to a roar as a massive squadron of bombers covered the skies. Dive bombers dove down to our position like birds of prey diving for a meal. Their concentrated ordinance struck the Ru-class square on, and the resulting explosion also blew away any remaining destroyer meatshields. Overhead, a wave of torpedo bombers flew into the remaining mass of the enemy fleet before dropping a wall of torpedoes that engulfed the rest. What few stragglers remained were gunned down by Furutaka or slowly just sank from taking on water through all the damage.

    A voice broke through the communicator in a static-filled haze.

    "..mmer Fleet! Com. in! Did our planes make it in time!? Hammer Fleet!?"

    A huge relief came over me as Ryuujou's words reached me.

    "They couldn't have been any more perfect, boss. Any later, and we would have been scrap." I responded to her, the relief clear in my voice.

    "On behalf of Sword, I'm so sorry for the delay. I dun know what happened. While they were flyin', our planes suddenly went blind; all their instruments shut down and accurate navigation was gone. By the time they got away from whatever was causin' it, they were completely off-course. We sent 'em back on track as soon as possible, but I'm jes' glad it wasn't too late." Ryuujou explained, clearly distraught when talking about this unknown interference.

    "Don't worry about it, you can buy us some dinner later if you feel bad. Just get the planes back and rearmed as soon as possible. I get the feeling that this is just a halfway point."

    "You got it. Stay safe. Sword out."

    The comm. line cut. I chuckled a bit, with no sense of humor behind it. "Safe" was anything but what described us right now. I connected the comm. to the Admiral.

    ====================
    Radar Boat - Emerald
    ====================

    I had been monitoring what radio chatter was going on between the fleets, but without a direct report I still didn't have a complete picture of what was going on. I saw that Hammer Fleet was still holding fast as Abyssal signatures disappeared from the long range radar provided by the boat, but other than that I was blind. I didn't like feeling this helpless, but I knew I had to play my own part as command for if and when things got dangerous.

    As my luck would have it, that time seemed to start now. The radio crackled to life, as the voice of Kongou came through it, clearly out of breath.

    "Admiral, we're down two ships. We need immediate evac and replacement for Kirishima and Tonecchi before the next enemy attack comes."

    "I understand" I replied. I'll have escorts arranged for both of them all the way back to fleet command, and will have Hiei and Chikuma come in."

    "Sir." She interrupted. "With all due respect, they know we're here now. The advantage of a small fleet is gone. Please send in Haruna and Kakocchi as well."

    Considering her words for a moment, I realized that she was right. No more time for subtlety.

    "Acknowledged. Haruna and Kako will be deployed as well. What about you? You sound almost ragged."

    "I'd be lying if I said I was fine, but I'm not in danger yet. Even if my abilities are diminished, I need to stay out here. The fleet needs to see their flagship stand with them." Kongou pleaded her case.

    While I certainly didn't want her to be risking herself like this, I knew she spoke the truth. Morale was a big part of combat, and losing their leader, however temporary, would cause problems.

    "...Acknowledged. You know your limits better than anyone. Just don't make me regret the decision."

    "You won't sir. I promise. Hammer out"

    With that, I switched over the radio to the all-fleets frequency to address everyone.

    "Attention all fleets. We have two frontliners heavily wounded, and we all need to get her home safe, so listen up. Light cruisers Naka and Nagara are to escort battleship Kirishima and aviation cruiser Tone over to Shield Fleet's position. There the light cruisers will break off and return to Hammer Fleet, while destroyers Naganami and Shimakaze will take over as escorts. They are to escort the wounded towards fleet command where they will be met halfway by destroyers Satsuki and Minazuki from Response Fleet. Shimakaze and Naganami will return to their positions in Shield while Satsuki and Minazuki escort the rest of the way back to fleet command. Destroyer Nagatsuki is to go to fleet command directly and tell them to ready the docks for emergency repairs. If they complain, tell them that they don't need to fix everything; just enough to get them out of critical condition and for them to be able to move on their own power. If anyone tries to give you trouble, tell then that you speak with the authority of Admiral emergency code 6133. That'll shut them right up. Get moving ladies. This fight isn't over yet. Good luck"


    I always pull my weight. I just happen to be made of helium.
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    Ryuujou & Iku Anniversary 9/28/15 | Uranami Anniversary 3/1/17 | Fubuki Anniversary 4/24/17 | Akebono Anniversary 95/99 | Shimakaze Anniversary 5/4/16~
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  6. #146
    Admiral Lord Harrab's Avatar
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    @Emerald Acid

    OK, caught up again and had a read through,

    Nothing major jumped out at me in this part, the action flowed well. Although there were a few parts that could probably be expanded to be more descriptive, they work well enough.

    from a reader standpoint that jammer has me intrigued, more abyssal bullshit incoming i bet

    beyond that i'd say this is a fine addition to the story and i look forward to more.



    In My Heart, The Age of Battleships will never end.
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  7. #147
    Marshal Admiral Emerald Acid's Avatar
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    ====================
    On Land - Nagatsuki
    ====================

    After being given the order, I immediately rushed back onto land. I dropped my guns on the shore (no time to sit down and unstrap my torpedo launchers) and ran full speed towards Fleet Command before bursting through the doors. Either everyone was too busy doing whatever, or people loudly entering the building was commonplace, because nobody even noticed or looked my way when I did. And that was a problem for me. Aside from when I was first rescued and went through the process of being assigned to my home base, I had never actually been through Fleet Command proper, and I had no idea where to go. Thankfully, someone eventually noticed my fretting and worried state, and came up to me.

    "Excuse me, can I help you, Destroyer Nagatsuki?"

    I turned around to face the one who somehow knew my name, and was instantly struck with awe.

    "You... you're Houshou! I thought you retired!"

    Light Carrier Houshou. The world's first commissioned Aircraft Carrier. She was often called the mother of all us KanMusu, and was a living legend to us all. I guess greatness never retires.

    "Well, yes. Yes I am." She says with a smile. "So, can I help you?"

    With that question, my star-struck state vanished as I remembered my mission.

    "Ah, yes! I need help! Some of our fleet is hurt, and we need repairs!"

    "Oh my, that does sound urgent. Come with me and I'll see what I can do."

    I followed her to an office at the end of a hallway. The gold nameplate on the door displayed the name of the one who owned the office. It was two words and ten characters long, in a language that I couldn't read. English, I think. Either way, it wasn't Houshou's name. She took a seat behind the desk, and I in front.

    "I work as the secretary assistant to this particular office, although I help out elsewhere as well if needed. My hus-" she stopped herself and cleared her throat to reset. "My superior uses this office as the chief authority and tactician for Fleet Command in regards to operations specializing in heavy deployment, specifically Battleships. Now, how can I help?"

    I explained the situation as I knew it to her. About the operation we from Rabaul were carrying out, about the casualties, and how we urgently needed repairs for them.

    "I see, that's urgent indeed. I'll make sure we have facilities open and specifically reserved for them, as well as a few extras just in case. Report back to your Admiral that we will receive them and start as soon as they hit shore."

    "Thank you. Thank you so much!"

    I bolted out of the office, and the building itself. I wanted to get back to sea as quick as possible, and report the news.

    ====================
    Shield Fleet - Inazuma
    ====================

    It seems the exchange of forces was a success, as Shimakaze and Naganami returned to us without incident. We resumed our circling ring formation to resume anti-Submarine operation. Right in time for a massive explosion to hit the center of the circle and send everyone off-balance. As the mist and smoke cleared, I immediately scanned the horizon for where the attack came from, and eventually I spotted them. A force of three destroyers and three heavy cruisers, including a very dangerous Ne-class heavy cruiser leading them. I clicked on my communicator to give orders, but was instantly greeted by screeching feedback. I shut the communicator off and shouted as loud as I can to everyone instead.

    "EVASIVE ACTION! ENEMY SURFACE ATTACK! FULL RETREAT!"

    Everyone heard the orders and instantly scattered in random directions before looping around in the direction directly away from the attacking forces. However, I could see that their destroyers were moving in faster than we could flee, and to make matters worse none of us had any form of surface equipment; just sonars and depth charge racks.

    How did they get so close to us without being seen!? Even if they're meant for underwater targets, the sonar still should have...!" I thought to myself. I looked down at my sonar's screen, but to my surprise the enemy contacts still were not registered on the screen. What's more, the closer the enemy fleet got to us, the more the screen was dissolving into static. Something about them was interfering with the wavelengths of our equipment. As I took a better look, it actually became instantly apparent with a focused eye. One of the destroyers wasn't keeping the same full charge pace of the other two. Attached on top of it was what I could only describe as a giant spinning magnet. I had never seen something like that before, and this was also the first time our equipment was jammed like this. I figured it had to be whatever that device was, and so I took a gamble on that bet. I turned around to face the enemy fleet, I hunched forward to lower my profile, and I just charged at them.

    "Oi! What th' hell're ya doin', boss!?"

    I heard Suzukaze shout at me over my shoulder, but I tuned her out to focus as much as I could. Dodging. Evading, Twisting and turning to avoid or deflect as much of the incoming fire as I could. Closer. Closer, and closer still I got to them. Before I got within short range and closer, I dispensed two depth charges into my hands. The first I threw low, parallel to the waterline. It exploded and throw up a curtain of water and mist to obscure my final approach. I predicted their movement as I went into a wide turn as I sailed through the curtain of mist. At the peak of my turn arc, I throw the second depth charge as hard as I could at the magnet destroyer. The charge hit the magnet at the base and bounced off of it, before exploding right on top of it. I came out of my turn and immediately jettisoned all remaining charges I had. The combined explosions released an even bigger curtain of water and mist as I took off directly away from the fleet again. The disorientation from the explosions let me and the rest of the girls get a lot of distance away from the attacking destroyers.

    Whatever that magnet thing was, I was right in my gamble. As the device was destroyed, the sonars started working properly. And more importantly, the communicator was working again, as it suddenly came to life in my ear.

    ====================
    Radar Boat - Emerald
    ====================

    I didn't know what was happening. Suddenly on my surveillance radar, Shield Fleet was scattering every which direction and running away from their post, but no enemy contacts were on display. I repeatedly tried to contact Inazuma, but the line never connected. It was eerily similar to that one time when our home base was invaded. I kept trying again and again to get through.

    Finally, my persistence payed off and I was able to patch through. At the same time, the radar pinged out six enemy targets chasing after Shield.

    "Inazuma, what's going on!? Your team was just running around in random directions and suddenly now there are contacts right on top of you all!"

    "We're under attack!" She shouted back as she fled for her life. "Three enemy destroyers and three heavy cruisers! We can't fight back without surface equipment! We need support NOW!"

    "Done!" I quickly responded as I switched frequencies to Sword fleet.

    "Ryuujou, respond! Where are your team's planes now!?"

    "They jes finished rearmin' a few minutes ago and are on the way to the frontlines. They'll be ready for the next attack wave." She responded, a bit confused why I was in such a panicked state.

    "Belay that order! Redirect every plane in the air to Shield's location, and do it now!"

    I could hear her on the other end of the line as she didn't question it for a second and gave the order to the other carriers under her command. After a bit of initial confusion and Ryuu yelling at them to shut up and obey, she came back onto the comm.

    "I dun know what's going on, but every plane is now moving at full speed toward Shield's location. Whatever it is, we'll sort it out."

    "Thanks, Ryuu." I ended the communication with that, and switched back to the comm. with Shield.


    ====================
    Shield Fleet - Inazuma
    ====================

    "Support from Sword is on the way. Just keep retreating as fast as you can, and hang on." The Admiral's voice suddenly broke over the comm. again after a few minutes of silence.

    "We'll do our best! Just get them to hurry up!" I responded before the line went down again. Over my shoulder, each individual was caught evading as best they can, shouting orders at each other as they watched each others' back from incoming fire.

    "These Abyssals are a real pain in the ass!" I heard Nenohi shout out. More than just an insult though, it was yet another one of her inappropriately timed puns as I saw that her stern was actually aflame from a shell explosion she must have taken earlier.

    "Less stupid puns and more running! And put that fire out!"

    "We don't have any damage control like this!" She shouted back. "I know I have a hot ass but this is ridiculous!" She punned again as she squatted down as best she could. I didn't want to tell her what it looked like she was trying to do, but she managed to dip her rear end into the water and extinguish the flames. Unfortunately, the distance she lost as she slowed down enough to do it, combined with the extra drag in the water allowed one of the enemy destroyers to close in on her. It leapt out of the water like a whale with its maw wide open. It fully intended to consume her and drag her lifeless body down into the depths to finish later, and while I moved to run towards her as fast as I could, there was nothing I could do for her... but instead of trying to move or futilely protect herself, she did something that I'd never seen anyone do.

    I could see that she had closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, before stomping down into some kind of stance. In her right hand was a depth charge. As the destroyer descended down onto her, I saw her almost motionlessly side-step as she threw a punch with the full force of her body behind it, straight into the destroyer's open maw. The sheer power behind the punch crushed the destroyer's mouth cannon, and embedded her fist deep into the creature's internal machinery. Unable to bite down, the destroyer just hung there suspended for a second before the depth charge she had been holding detonated. The destroyer exploded from the inside out, and all that remained where it used to be was Nenohi's smoking fist. Her hand was burnt and the bandages on her arm were scored, but otherwise she was unharmed. I didn't get to stare in amazement for long though, because the second destroyer suddenly burst out from the water like a missile and was aimed right at her midsection, intending to bite her in half. But once again she completely surprised me. Nenohi instantly reacted on pure reflex to lean back and duck down flat. As the destroyer sailed over her by mere inches, she unleashed a powerful kick straight up into the destroyer's underside. All momentum lost, the destroyer flew straight into the air by multiple feet before crashing back down harmlessly. Right as it landed, Nenohi suddenly jumped above it and unleashed a massive axe kick straight onto the top of its head. The destroyer flopped around in a daze before Nenohi stomped a foot down onto its lower jaw, and had both hands on its upper jaw, forcing its maw open as wide as she could, and held it like that.

    "Right here, boss!" She shouted to me.

    As I was still rushing towards her position, I realized her plan. She shot another depth charge out of her dispenser, and it sailed through the air behind her and straight to me. I caught it out of the air, and threw it as hard as I could straight into the destroyer's open mouth. Right as it hit inside, Nenohi launched herself up with a jump, landed with both feet onto the destroyer's skull and forcing its mouth shut, before jumping off the destroyer and away from the explosion that followed as the charge went off in its mouth. As she landed safely away in nearby water, I couldn't help but just stare at her in shock. This girl, who was only known for her punwork, had just taken out two feral enemy destroyers with nothing but martial arts and some anti-submarine equipment. I was completely stunned in amazement. Where did this come from? I managed to hear her say something almost under her breath as she calmed down. Her expression was unusually sad and out of character for her.

    "Today is just a violent day it seems..."

    After that, she turned and saw me staring in awe, and she took on her characteristic always energetic grin.

    "Looks like it had a bad case of explosive diarrhea!"

    ...aaaaand there went the shock and awe. I facepalmed at her yet again inappropriately timed pun, but given what just happened, I let her have it.

    "Just get going. We still need to get out of here."

    "Aye aye, boss!" she said with that same grin and a salute. Looking around the field, I saw that the other four in my team were sailing circles around the destroyer that used to have the magnet on its head that I crippled earlier. Each one took turns distracting the destroyer's attention as the rest threw charge after charge at it. Eventually, the damage was too much, and the destroyer simply fell apart from the multiple explosions and shockwaves.

    With the destroyers dealt with, all that was left were the heavy cruisers. While they'd never be able to keep up with our speed, they could still keep up enough to keep us in their gun range for a good while. While I was fine and, aside from the burnt hand, Nenohi was alright as well, the other four weren't as well off. Ooshio's hair was down loose and singed in a few places. Most of Suzukaze's white uniform was now charred black from explosions and fires of her own. Naganami had one big circle of exposed back skin peeking out from her uniform as a hole had been blown clean through her clothing. And what remained of Shimakaze's uniform might as well have been called swimming wear. Damage was racking up, and I didn't know how much longer we could hold out on our own. Right now, all we could do was continue to retreat until air support arrived.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Suddenly, update! I have been sitting on that badass Nenohi moment for ages trying to get to the point where I could use it. So glad that I finally got to, and it felt good to envision it happening.

    I also really wanted an excuse to use this image in the story.



    As usual, give me those questions, comments, and critiques!


    Last edited by Emerald Acid; 02-28-2017 at 02:33 PM.
    I always pull my weight. I just happen to be made of helium.
    ~
    Ryuujou & Iku Anniversary 9/28/15 | Uranami Anniversary 3/1/17 | Fubuki Anniversary 4/24/17 | Akebono Anniversary 95/99 | Shimakaze Anniversary 5/4/16~
    Admiral Anniversary: 5/25 | I wrote a thing. Updated! (5/1)


  8. #148
    Marshal Admiral Emerald Acid's Avatar
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    ====================
    Shadow Fleet - Iku
    ====================

    Underwater is dark. Like really dark. A normal person down here would be completely blind without some lights and a sonar panel.A normal person would, yes. But not us. Perks of being a Submarine. We should see as if it were only early evening with just our eyes alone. I love the surface and all the joys it has, but nothing will ever replace the feelings and scenery of living underwater like this. It's a shame the Abyssals waste such an opportunity.

    We had been cruising dark for a good few hours now. Moving slowly as we swam as deep as we could to avoid setting off any sonars on the surface. We have no idea about how the surface battles were going, so I could only hope and trust in my fellow fleetmates as I do my job.

    After all the time closing in, we were finally reaching what should be our destination. As we approached though, motion caught my eye. I immediately hand-signaled everyone to stop and crash dive as quick as they could. Within moments, we all dove down and scattered among the various rocks and reefs. Watching the movement from earlier, I saw that they were the enemy submarines that were were supposed to expect defending the area. I had assumed that they were patrolling the area as I started to think of a plan of attack, before they proved me wrong. What submarines I could see in the area had gathered together, before cruising off over our heads in the direction that we had just come from. It seems that the surface battle was intense, because the Abyssal were either confident enough or desperate enough to pull their defenders to fight on the frontlines.

    Once the enemies were out of site and off of sonar contact, I signaled everyone to start moving again A few minutes more, and our target came into sight; the base of the Abyssal structure that was being built above. It was a big structure, with multiple supports for us to take out to sink it. I was about to give the order to spread out and take them out, when out of the darkness, a torpedo sailed straight across my path. I dove back on instinct and covered myself as best I could, but the resulting explosion still hurt, and the shockwave sent me sailing back. I quickly scanned the area and saw a dark figure in the distance, and I sent a torpedo of my own in retaliation. Whatever it was, it didn't try to move. But before my torpedo could hit, it exploded mid-flight. Another torpedo had come from a perpendicular angle and taken mine out. As the underwater dust and debris cloud cleared up, two figures came to be known. They looked like they had to be submarines, but they were far stronger than any Abyssal submarine on record. They were more developed; more humanoid like us. They had to be Hime-class or close. And there were two of them. Suddenly, the two armed a storm of torpedoes and prepared to launch. With an adrenaline surge, I immediately signaled for everyone else to scatter. Everyone took off in random directions just as the enemies in question launched their attack. Torpedoes trained on each one of us, and were chasing us all about. Exploding on rocks, on coral, and after being out-run. But just as they exploded, more were launched. We were caught in a torrent of homing torpedoes and suddenly in a fight for our lives against these new enemies. And we had nobody but each other to rely on.

    ====================
    Hammer Fleet - Kongou
    ====================

    It was chaos for awhile. The Abyssals had pushed us back a good deal after losing Kirishima and Tonecchi to repairs. Haruna and Chikuma arrived first and help stabilize the conflict, but until the other came, it was still push and pull. But then the other reinforcements did come. Hiei, Kakochi, Sendai, and Jintsuu. With the added numbers, things were now in our favor and we were taking back the ground we had lost. On the left, Haruna and Hiei coordinated to unleash a synchronized volley of fire that rained hell down on the enemy backline. Battleships crumpled and collapsed under the shells. In the middle, the four light cruisers were dodging and diving every which way launching wave after wave of torpedoes, forming a wall of death that crashed into the destroyers and cruisers that lined the front of the enemy forces. On the edges were Taco, Kako, Chikuma, and myself, working together with both of the other forces to reduce numbers and scatter the enemy's coordination and target attention.

    I briefly pondered the lack of enemy plane presence from the last few waves, but it was a short lived thought as an explosion rang out nearby. Kako and Chikuma vanished in a pillar of water. When it settled, the two cruisers were on the 'ground' and their armor was shredded. Another explosion on the left as Hiei met a similar fate. The light cruisers were scattering and looking around everywhere for the source but were coming up empty.

    "Submarines!" Sendai suddenly shouted as another explosion went up close to Hiei. The cruisers were firing into the water trying to hit the invisible targets, but none were armed to fight submarines. More and more explosions were going up around us as they found near hits or were shot down en route, and as the newly wounded were slowly helped off the frontlines, I realized just how bad things were. I immediately opened a comm. line to the Admiral.

    "Admiral, we have an emergency*! Submarines on the front lines! We need Shield!"

    The response that came back was not what I wanted to hear.

    "Negative! Shield Fleet has been engaged by surface forces and are unable to respond! Sword Fleet planes are currently en route to help them, but at the damage levels they've taken they won't be able to join!"

    "Shit... then what are we supposed to do? We can't fight against them! Especially not with more surface ships bearing down on us too!"

    ====================
    Radar Boat - Emerald
    ====================

    "Dammit..." I cursed to myself. I radioed into Reserve Fleet's frequency.

    "Listen up ladies. Things are going bad on the frontlines, and we're running on limited resources now. Does anyone else have any spare ASW equipment with them?"

    The response came from Uranami, who was acting as the voice of those who remained on standby.

    "Sir! We have one fully functional set, and two half-exhausted sets from the field. We exchanged two of our spares with Shimakaze and Naganami when they escorted back Kirishima and Tone to land to reload them."

    "Only one fresh one, then. Who has it?"

    "Kiyoshimo, sir."

    "Alright then. Kiyoshimo, listen up. Hammer Fleet is getting pounded by submarines, and Shield Fleet is incapacitated and unable to help. Right now, you're the only hope Hammer has. How about it? Feel up to playing alongside the big league?"

    Honestly, I didn't even have to ask, as a loud shriek pierced my ear over the comm.

    "SENKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" I heard Kiyoshimo yell as I suddenly saw her blip on the radar. She had taken off full speed ahead without another word or waiting for anyone else. That girl loved playing with the battleships.

    As I tried to piece my ear back together, another voice came up on Sword's frequency.

    "This is Sword, Admiral. We've arrived at Shield's location and are dealin' with the problem as we speak. Consider 'em saved." Ryuujou cheerfully chimed.

    Another voice, this time from Shield's line.

    "Inazuma here, Admiral. Sword's planes just came in and took out the last of the cruisers. We're safe for now, but most of us are hurt pretty badly. I'm fine but the rest need to retreat."

    "Glad to hear you're all safe. How many working sets of ASW gear are left?"

    "Umm..." She took a moment to assess. "Only two, sir. Mine and Nenohi's, but despite what she might say she's in no shape to use her right hand."

    I paused to think for a moment, before addressing both Reserve and Shield.

    "Alright, this is the plan. All of Shield will retreat to Fleet Command for repairs. The remainder of Reserve will meet them as they do. Nenohi will give her gear to one of Reserve before docking. Meanwhile, Reserve is to get those two exhausted ASW set-ups working right. Empty one out and use it to fill up the other. Inazuma will join up with Reserve herself and assume command, before going after Kiyoshimo to help Hammer. That will give us three working ASW kits to help defend. The other four of Reserve are to take up normal equipment and get ready for a fight; it's that bad right now and we need every gun and body available. Get to it."

    Acknowledgement lights winked from both frequencies as they heeded their new orders and started working. However, a few more destroyers in the mix wasn't going to turn the tides. I needed an ace, but I was running out of ideas. So I flipped the switch to open Sword's channel, and asked my better half.

    "Ryuu, things aren't going too well. We need a trump card, and I'm running out of options. Think you can do that?"

    A pause before her response came in.

    "Do ya really mean that? I can do it, but ya know how it works."

    "I wouldn't ask you to do something like this unless it was serious, Ryuu. Sorry for doing so, but it's that bad."

    "Well, then I guess I don't got much of a choice now do I? Don'tcha worry Dragonfly. We're gonna win this fight."

    ====================
    Sword Fleet - Ryuujou
    ====================

    "Don'tcha worry, Dragonfly, we're gonna win this fight."

    I said as my planes returned home. I didn't start re-arming them though. Instead, I brought my hand close with a gesture. The golden flame of my power sat on my fingers, as I started to charge up what remaining energy I had left. One last communication, before I cut the line.

    "I got this."



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Welp. Things are lookin' bad on all fronts here. Shit may or may not be about to go down next time.

    As always, questions, comments, and critiques are welcome!


    I always pull my weight. I just happen to be made of helium.
    ~
    Ryuujou & Iku Anniversary 9/28/15 | Uranami Anniversary 3/1/17 | Fubuki Anniversary 4/24/17 | Akebono Anniversary 95/99 | Shimakaze Anniversary 5/4/16~
    Admiral Anniversary: 5/25 | I wrote a thing. Updated! (5/1)


  9. #149
    Admiral Lord Harrab's Avatar
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    yey updates *party-horn Noise* @Emerald Acid

    its looking good, you've not lost your edge, i was confused by the subs being chased by torpedoes but i assumed they were some new abyssal weapon they have brought out, what with them getting access to abyssal bullshit in events and the past sections of this, the cheating buggers.

    Kongou being worried by submarines is fitting, considering her history, but i feel you could maybe have dialed that fear up a bit more, really show how worried the usual cheerful crazy britbote is by letting her composure crack a bit more, as it stands she's worried sure, but perhaps its her professionalism taking over at the threat, who knows. Serious Kongo can be scary.


    Rj's confidence is a rock that defects AP rounds, loved that, and the Pocket BB being all like "hell yeah i get to hang with the battleships" made me smile, although these cliff hangers gotta end man, i'm running out of seat edge to perch on.



    In My Heart, The Age of Battleships will never end.
    Married to Nagato 23/02/2016. Married to Iowa 26/09/2016. Married to Warspite 25/10/2016. Married to Houshou 19/12/2016.
    Married to Musashi 26/02/2017 Married to Ushio 10/03/2017. Married to Maya 25/03/2017
    The Ship Soul War (Kancolle Fanfic)

  10. #150
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    I've always liked the "in my own words" perspective with stories like this (The few recaps I've done for the TRPG games I've played in use it as a framing device), though my own headcanon story has taken the third-person route for the moment. The former does give a more personal feel (which is what you were going for here, and did quite well I might add), while the latter focuses on the collective of all the characters and the world around them.



 

 

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